|
Premarital
/ Relationship Inventories
We recommend that couples
explore their compatibility issues and expectations as part of a
premarital education program like ours. We offer a premarital inventory
as part of our program. If you tackle these issues on your own,
you won't have the support, skills and understanding to do so most
constructively. A seminar like MST gives
you a clear idea of how to intentionally approach building a successful
relationship.
If, however, you decide
to try to explore expectations and compatibility on your own, the
inventory we recommend is Relate (www.relate-institute.org).
The inventory does not predict relationship or marriage success,
but it will help you to identify risk factors. While Relate is far
from perfect, after carefully reviewing the range of alternative
inventories, we've determined that it's the best tool available
for this purpose. (Prepare-Enrich, for example, requires that results
be provided only through a counselor--the couple is not permitted
to keep their report. Foccus is used in the Catholic Pre-Cana and
Engaged Encounter programs. There are several others. None address
the full range of issues that we feel are important.)
You should also be aware
that we do not agree with all of Relate's interpretations of the
marriage research. For example, we feel that the risks of cohabitation
are overgeneralized by Relate and that some of the challenges (and
strengths) related to spiritual beliefs and affiliations or lack
thereof are not fully articulated. You'll benefit from professional
interpretation of your inventory results to help you understand
these and other issues and limitations of the inventory.
You might also want to
look at a book called The Hard Questions to help you explore expectations.
It's available thru stayhitched.com/books.htm.
Again, though, we urge you to do this as part of a program--ours
or another of your choice.
Copyright
2005, Patricia S. & Gregory A. Kuhlman. You may copy this article
for non-commercial use provided that no changes are made and this
copyright notice, author credit and stayhitched.com source citation
are included.
|
