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Books for Laypersons
Click
here or scroll down for professional articles & resources.
If you'd like to learn
more about marriage research and issues, we suggest the following
books to begin:
John Gottman, Ph.D.,
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
(The practical guide for couples based on Gottman's thorough, long
term research on what happy, successful couples do in their relationship
on a moment to moment basis and also on an overall basis.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
John Gottman, Ph.D.,
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail … And How You Can Make Yours Last
(A look at marital styles - what works and what doesn't - with specific
advice for avoiding or changing destructive patterns)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Howard J. Markman, Scott
M. Stanley & Susan L. Blumberg, Fighting for Your Marriage
(Book based on the PREP program developed by University of Denver
marriage and family researchers. The more positive sections of the
book can be found at the end. Early sections focus on conflict and
communication problems in marriage and suggested methods for overcoming
them.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Jordan Paul & Margaret
Paul, Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?
(A guide by two married psychologists for creating a loving, evolving
relationship. Their suggested path through conflict is based on
nurturing an "intent to learn" about self and spouse.
This attitude is contrasted with protective patterns between spouses
that lead to lack of satisfaction.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Susan Piver, The Hard
Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do
(A slim, but thorough book that suggests questions to discuss with
your partner before marriage on a range of issues: home life, money,
work, sex, health & food, family, children, community &
friends and spiritual life. A good complement to a marriage prep
seminar once you've learned some tools that will make it easier
to answer these questions together and come up with questions of
your own.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Dudley Weeks, Ph.D.,
The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution: Preserving Relationships
at Work, Home and in the Community
(This book by an expert in the field of conflict resolution can
guide you to an understanding of the underlying issues in conflict
and a plan for resolution of even stubborn disputes. He believes
in looking for solutions that are mutually beneficial, but that
may represent compromise on both sides. It is equally useful for
marriage & other personal relationships and for work situations.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
David Bach, Smart Couples
Finish Rich
(A values-oriented approach
to financial issues.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
David Schnarch, Ph.D.,
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed
Relationships
(Stages and impasses of married sexuality. Stick with it past the
slow beginning. There are some really important ideas here and they
tend to accelerate in the second half of the book. He is a strong
advocate for marriage as an environment for the continuous personal
development process of each partner. He describes the interaction
between marriage, personal development and sexual relations.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Carole Pasahow, DSW,
ACSW, Sexy Encounters: 21 Days of Provocative Passion Fixes
(Program, resources and suggestions for lack of desire, 'not enough
time,' increasing variety, use of fantasy, reconciling different
sexual styles, etc.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
David Schnarch, Ph.D.,
Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems & Revolutionizing
Your Relationship
(More specific problem-related
advice.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Joel Crohn, Ph.D., Mixed
Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic, and
Interfaith Relationships
(An excellent resource
for exploring the attraction of cross cultural matches, the underlying
beliefs of each partner and potential conflicts in cross cultural
and interfaith relationships. Crohn also describes the paths that
couples take to decide upon an integrated lifestyle. A book that
will help anyone of any background to understand the assumptions
and beliefs at the very core of one's identity.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Carolyn Pape Cowan, Ph.D.
and Philip Cowan, Ph.D., When Parents Become Partners: The Big Life
Change for Couples (Results of a landmark ten year study by researchers
at the University of California - Berkeley. It describes the gap
between expectations and reality about parenthood in illuminating
detail and a call for couples to prepare realistically for the challenges.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Betty Carter, M.S.W.
and Joan Peters, Love, Honor & Negotiate: Building Partnerships
that Last a Lifetime (Carter, a family therapist who founded the
Family Institute of Westchester, NY, exposes issues of power and
equality in marital relationships and the detrimental effect of
imbalance. Her solutions may be more radical than many couples will
choose, but her description of unhappy couples who start out with
egalitarian ideals and "backslide" into traditional marriage
roles after children is particularly noteworthy.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Bradley G. Richardson,
Daddy Smarts: A Guide for Rookie Fathers.
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Nina Barrett, I Wish
Someone Had Told Me: Comfort, Support and Advice for New Moms from
More than 60 Real-Life Mothers.
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Daniel Stern, MD, and
Nadia Brushweiler-Stern, MD, The Birth of a Mother: How the Motherhood
Experience Changes You Forever.
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Anne Seamans and Cathy
Winks, The Mother's Guide to Sex: Enjoying Your Sexuality Through
All Stages of Motherhood.
Sorry,
out of print - Try your library.
Arlie Russell Hochschild,
Ph.D. The Second Shift
(A landmark book about the dynamics of dual career households based
on research by a sociologist. She concludes that, despite great
societal changes in the United States allowing women more choices
in life, women are still responsible for the majority of household
chores and child care and that this has profound implications for
marital happiness for both men & women.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
E. Mavis Hetherington,
Ph.D. and John Kelly, For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered.
(Part One of the book
may be helpful in considering what went wrong in a previous marriage.
In Part Two, see chapter 8: Repartnering, High Hopes & Crossed
Fingers. Section two, Remarriage and Stepfamily Life, is especially
helpful on stepfamily issues. The overall tone of this book is positive
and takes the view that divorce, while stressful and confusing,
is an opportunity for personal growth and a better life.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
James H. Bray, Ph.D.
and John Kelly, Stepfamilies: Love, Marriage and Parenting in the
First Decade.
(The result of a major
research study about stepfamilies, this book gives insight into
the issues and challenges for stepfamilies, what works and doesn't
work, along with stories of families from the case studies. Bray
finds that successful stepfamilies are different from biological
nuclear families, but every bit as able to provide a positive, nurturing
environment for both children and adults.)
Click
here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore
link.
Professional
articles & resources
Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D.,
et al. Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction,and
Attachment. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 31, No. 5, October
2002, pp. 413–419.
Jay Teachman. Premarital
Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital
Dissolution Among Women. Journal of Marriage and Family: Vol. 65,
No. 2, pp. 444–455.
Benjamin Silliman &
Walter Schumm, Marriage preparation programs: A literature review.
Family Journal, Vol 8, No 2, April 2000, 133 - 142.
John Gottman. The Marriage
Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy. New York: WWNorton
& Company, 1999, 456 pp.
Click
here to learn more about or buy this and other recommended books for counseling professionals through our Amazon.com
books store link. -- Be sure to select the For Counseling Professionals
category link from the Browse by Category box to the right side
in the bookstore.
Happy reading.
Now
that you're up-to-date on the latest marriage research resources,
consider attending a Marriage Success Training seminar with your
partner to keep your relationship growing throughout your marriage.
MST also helps couples handle the increased stress of the pre-wedding
period in a much more healthy way, so that they can use the pre-wedding
experience to deepen their intimacy--not stress their relationship--during
this special time. Click here to learn about the benefits of MST.
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