Cancel the Reservation
at “Your Place” for Valentine’s Dinner
One of the challenges
of marriage (and other long-term relationships) is to keep your
bond strong. We’ve often noted how excitement and novelty decline
while romantic brain chemistry shifts in the course of a longer
relationship, as routine increases.
Recent research by Arthur Aron, a social psychologist at SUNY Stony
Brook, indicates that couples can recharge their romantic chemistry
by intentionally opting for novelty in some of their time spent
together. In these studies, couples who engaged in fresh activities
gave their relationship significantly better satisfaction ratings
So, to really give your relationship a romance fix, don’t go to
‘your place’ (the one you go to every year) for dinner tonight.
Instead, choose somewhere that you’ll both enjoy, but haven’t tried
The same suggested formula applies to other joint activities: Avoid
the ‘tried and true’ and agree on something new that appeals to
both of you.
The theory here is that dopamine and norepinephrine highs are generated
both by novel activities and romantic love. To some degree, your
brain doesn’t care whether it gets its jolt from your partner or
the things you do together. When you do something new, interesting
or exciting together, some of the novelty chemistry rubs off on
Ride a roller coaster, go to new vacation spot, take up a new hobby
together, drive by a different route or to some new destination,
move the furniture, and, yes, of course, try some new sexual position.
It’s all likely to help rev up your relationship bond on Valentine’s
Day or any other day.
here for related reading and references list.
helps couples learn more about practical relationship success strategies
that fit their relationship style and are comfortable for both genders.
Click here to learn about the benefits of MST.
2008, Patricia S. & Gregory A. Kuhlman. You may copy this article
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